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90 Days & Beyond

To say that I have been under intense personal construction and refinement these past months is an understatement. The choice to "not ...

Monday, December 31, 2012

Ring In Positive

Ring in this new year with positive forward motion!  What you focus on and put your attention on is what prospers SO Negative thoughts and negative energy = Negative outcomes......STOP pouring your energy into what you don't want and instead INVEST your energy on what you do want!!!!  Each and every day is a new opportunity to do better and achieve better in all  you do!  May you have a Happy and Blessed New Year before you!!!!!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Rejoice And Be Exceedingly Glad

Allow God's Peace to rule in your heart and His Wisdom to lead guide and direct you, for He so loved the World that He sent His only begotten Son for you...each and every one!!!  (John 3:16)

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

Friday, December 21, 2012

12 Week Running Challenge


This Running Challenge should not focus on whether or not you have ever been good at running or ever even given it a try.  This Challenge should be about getting you out and either giving something new a try or progressing you along to a goal you might have always wanted to achieve (whether that be a 5k, 10k, half or full on marathon).  The dates of this 12 week Running Challenge are January 11th - April 5th, 2013.

Whether you are doing this Running Challenge all by itself with no other additional Challenges or whether you are tackling every Challenge posted this week, below are the rules for this particular Challenge.

First, decide what your focus needs to be for this Challenge:  Have you ever run before?  If no, then keep it very simple and start with one mile and work up to a goal by the end of this 12 week Challenge of three mile walk/runs.  If your goal is to run a 5k or 10k, then map out your course on how to go about achieving that in the 12 weeks timeframe of this Challenge (all kinds of such schedules exist online...just Google which you are interested in (5k or 10k)).  If you have loftier goals in mind such as a half or full marathon, then you will really need to hunker down and get started on your progressing running schedule for each week of this 12 week Challenge for sure.  Regardless of what your running goal is, own it; plan for it; and do it!  If you are combining this with regular workouts and/or Yoga, be smart about your preplanned days for each and make sure you have at least one full day off from everything each and every week.  How many days a week you run and how you group your fitness activities will completely depend upon whether you are just starting out, trying to reach a 5/10k, or half/full marathon. 

For an example, I am already registered for a half marathon (my first) on April 27th and will be combining my run schedule with workouts and yoga with a schedule that looks something like below.  Note that if you look at most half marathon run schedules they have you running 4-6 days a week; however, with the level of high intensity interval training such as I do and recommend this is not necessary.

Sundays   60 min Yoga/possible short or long run (depending on week possibly OFF)
Mondays   Resistance/Interval Workouts/20 min Yoga
Tuesdays   Short Run/60 min Yoga
Wednesdays  Resistance/Interval Workouts/20 min Yoga
Thursdays   Long Run/30 min Yoga
Fridays   Resistance/Interval Workouts/20 min Yoga (or hour long arm balance/inversion Power Yoga in lieu of Res/Int Workout)
Saturdays  OFF
**Note that the more you do regarding workouts does not equate to quicker fat/weight loss results...reference Posts throughout this site on this subject***

Need Help With any/all of this? I'm always available: cagib1@charter.net


~You should see your physician before starting any exercise or nutrition program. You should have a complete physical examination if you are sedentary, if you have high cholesterol, high blood pressure, or diabetes, if you are overweight, or if you are over 35 years old. Please discuss all nutritional changes with your physician or a registered dietician.~

Thursday, December 20, 2012

12 Week Yoga Challenge


This Yoga Challenge should not focus on what you can or cannot yet do.  How flexible or inflexible your body is at the start.  How unforeseeable it is that you will ever obtain your desired flexibility.  The very nature of Yoga itself is not on such inhibiting factors.  Focus rather on the present and where your body is in the now and the rest will follow.  The dates of this 12 week Yoga Challenge are January 10th - April 4th, 2013.

Whether you are doing this Yoga Challenge all by itself with no other additional Challenges or whether you are tackling every Challenge posted this week, below are the rules for this particular Challenge. Note that it is very important to have a stretching program in addition to any fitness routines including but not limited to strength training, running, and cycling.  

First, choose a track based on your experience with Yoga.  If you have never done Yoga before, you are in Track 1.  If you have some experience with Yoga, but are still very much a beginner, choose Track 2.  If you consider yourself somewhere between Beginner and Intermediate (or Advance), go with Track 3.

Track 1
Do 15-60 minutes of Yoga 1-2 times each week of this Challenge.  For tips on Practices, see below.

Track 2
Do 20-60 minutes of Yoga 2-3 times each week of this Challenge.  For tips on Practices, see below.

Track 3
Do 20-60 minutes of Yoga 3-6 times each week of this Challenge.  For tips on Practices, see below.

Regardless of which Track you are in for this Challenge, plan what days you are going to practice and account for the foreseen obstacles and make a plan for working around them.  Make a mental account of your progress each week.  How your body and mental focus are changing as your practices grow. 

Stuck for Practices?  Some helpful resources:

*yogajournal.com for free poses descriptions and advice as well as practices and follow along videos. 
*Rodney Yee has an amazing line of DVDs from beginner all the way to advance.  He also has a superb book for all levels helping you advance your Yoga practice all the way into inversions titled Moving Toward Balance 8 Weeks of Yoga with Rodney Yee
*Another one of my favorite yoga instructors is Kathryn Budig who has a beginner's guide to yoga titled The Women's Health Big Book of Yoga

Need Help With any/all of this? I'm always available: cagib1@charter.net


~You should see your physician before starting any exercise or nutrition program. You should have a complete physical examination if you are sedentary, if you have high cholesterol, high blood pressure, or diabetes, if you are overweight, or if you are over 35 years old. Please discuss all nutritional changes with your physician or a registered dietician.~

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

12 Week Nutrition Challenge


This Nutrition Challenge should not focus on where you are not, what you are yet unable to do, what you can or should not have. This Challenge should however focus on where you are, what you can do, what you can have, what you can achieve! 12 Weeks to a better functioning, healthier you! 12 Weeks to a trimmer, toner you! 12 Weeks to a different mindset about what your body CAN do and how you feel about what you put into your body and how you treat your body! The dates of this 12 week Nutrition Challenge are January 9th - April 3rd, 2013.

Whether you are doing this Nutrition Challenge all by itself with no other additional Challenges or whether you are tackling every Challenge posted this week, below are the rules for this particular Challenge. Note that it is highly recommended that you at least combine the efforts of the Fitness Challenge alongside the Nutrition Challenge for best results!

1) Establish at least 3-5 nutritional goals and the course of action you plan to take to accomplish these goals during this Challenge. Keep in mind that these need to be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound (in that the time frame is the 12 weeks of this Challenge). It will not do you any good to make goals that you cannot reasonably attain in this 12 week period. Treat your established goals and plan as a contract with yourself for these 12 weeks. This is not a "New Years' Resolution" that you abandon in 4 days! If you are stuck for goals, there are some samples below this section.

2) Weigh and measure yourself (refer to the Measuring Results tab of this blog for information on this). Weigh/Measure throughout the Challenge on these dates following the initial weigh/measure on Jan 9th then: February 6th; March 6th; and finally on April 3rd.--If you are also participating in the Fitness Challenge you only need to measure once each week so go with the Fitness Challenge dates.--
3) If you are doing this Challenge in part for weight loss, then I strongly encourage you to take before and after pictures. This is not for me or anyone else, but for you to track your fat loss journey (refer to the Measuring Results tab of this blog for information on this). Your before photos should be taken on January 9th and your after photos should be taken on April 3rd (again using Fitness Challenge dates if participating in both Challenges).

4) Plan your meals. Account for the foreseen obstacles and make a plan for working around them.

5) Assess your goals and how your plan is going half way through the Challenge on February 20th (or 19th). This is a time to determine what is working and what is not. You will be half way through the Challenge at this point so this is a great time to tweak what needs to be tweaked for the final 6 weeks.

6) Where did you end up? On April 3rd (the end of the Challenge) do a final assessment of the previous 12 weeks and where you are in relation to your goals. Reflect on what the 12 weeks entailed, what obstacles you overcame to accomplish your goals, what you learned about yourself in this process and how you can apply it going forward beyond this Challenge.

Samples of Nutrtional Goals:
*Eat 8-10 fruits/vegetables daily, no excuses
*Preplan all meals
*Track all meals
*No BLTs (bites, licks, tastes) (refer to Eating Supportively tab of this blog)
*No more than 3-4 PIs per week (refer to Eating Supportively tab of this blog)
*No unplanned PIs per week (refer to Eating Supportively tab of this blog)
*Drink water daily to stay hydrated (refer to Eating Supportively tab of this blog)
*Stay within daily nutritional targets (refer to Eating Supportively tab of this blog)

Need Help With any/all of this? I'm always available: cagib1@charter.net


~You should see your physician before starting any exercise or nutrition program. You should have a complete physical examination if you are sedentary, if you have high cholesterol, high blood pressure, or diabetes, if you are overweight, or if you are over 35 years old. Please discuss all nutritional changes with your physician or a registered dietician.~

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

12 Week Fitness Challenge

This Fitness Challenge should not focus on where you are not, what you are yet unable to do, what you can or should not have. This Challenge should however focus on where you are, what you can do, what you can have, what you can achieve! 12 Weeks to a better level of fitness! 12 Weeks to a trimmer, toner you! 12 Weeks to a different mindset about what your body CAN do and how you feel about what you put into your body and how you treat your body!  The dates of this 12 week Fitness Challenge are January 8th - April 2nd, 2013.

Whether you are doing this Fitness Challenge all by itself with no other additional Challenges or whether you are tackling every Challenge posted this week, below are the rules for this particular Challenge.  Note that it is highly recommended that you at least combine the efforts of the Fitness Challenge alongside the Nutrition Challenge for best results! 

1) Establish at least 3-5 fitness goals and the course of action you plan to take to accomplish these goals during this Challenge. Keep in mind that these need to be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound (in that the time frame is the 12 weeks of this Challenge). It will not do you any good to make goals that you cannot reasonably attain in this 12 week period. Treat your established goals and plan as a contract with yourself for these 12 weeks. This is not a "New Years Resolution" that you abandon in 4 days! If you are stuck for goals, there are some samples below this section.

2) Weigh and measure yourself (refer to the Measuring Results tab of this blog for information on this).  Weigh/Measure throughout the Challenge on these dates following the initial weigh/measure on Jan 8th then: February 5th; March 5th;  and finally on April 2nd.
3) If you are doing this Challenge in part for weight loss, then I strongly encourage you to take before and after pictures. This is not for me or anyone else, but for you to track your fat loss journey (refer to the Measuring Results tab of this blog for information on this). Your before photos should be taken on January 8th and your after photos should be taken on April 2nd.

4) Plan your workouts (if you are working out with me this is done for you).  Account for the foreseen obstacles and make a plan for working around them.

5) Assess your goals and how your plan is going half way through the Challenge on February 19th. This is a time to determine what is working and what is not. You will be half way through the Challenge at this point so this is a great time to tweak what needs to be tweaked for the final 6 weeks.

6) Where did you end up? On April 2nd (the end of the Challenge) do a final assessment of the previous 12 weeks and where you are in relation to your goals. Reflect on what the 12 weeks entailed, what obstacles you overcame to accomplish your goals, what you learned about yourself in this process and how you can apply it going forward beyond this Challenge.

Samples of Fitness Goals:  
*Complete all planned workouts, no excuses
*In addition to all planned workouts, do my 10,000 steps daily
*Incorporate and complete all planned yoga/stretching practices, no excuses
*Progress to full blown, hard core push ups
*Progress planks to certain level and/or certain time in an isolated hold
*Progress a certain fitness move that you have struggled with to the next level
*Progress to a certain number of reps of assisted chin ups
*Progress to a certain number of reps of unassisted chin ups
*Progress to a certain number of reps of assisted pull ups
*Progress to a certain number of reps of unassisted pull ups
*Incorporate and complete all planned walks, or runs, or walk/runs, no excuses

Need Help With any/all of this?  I'm always available:  cagib1@charter.net


~You should see your physician before starting any exercise or nutrition program. You should have a complete physical examination if you are sedentary, if you have high cholesterol, high blood pressure, or diabetes, if you are overweight, or if you are over 35 years old. Please discuss all nutritional changes with your physician or a registered dietician.~

Monday, December 17, 2012

12 Week Bible Challenge


This Bible Challenge should not focus on past failures.  It should focus however on the very real possibility of reading through the Bible start to finish whether it be for the first time or for another time through.  Whether it be from Genesis to Revelation or whether it be in Chronological order.  It should not overwhelm you with the information you do not know, but enlighten you as you go.  The beauty of reading the Bible through as you would any other book in your possession is that you will ascertain understanding and foundation you might otherwise miss.  You can make notes throughout your daily readings of deeper studies you want to go back and do.  The dates of this 12 week Bible Challenge are January 7th - April 1st, 2013.

By doing the 12 week Bible Challenge, you are in essence signing on for a 90 day reading Challenge short 5 days.  Whether you decide to adhere to a 90 day schedule and double on five days; or just be five days shy of completion of your 90 days schedule; or take these 85 days to be 85 days in on a six month or year schedule; take this opportunity to get on your journey to a better understanding of the Bible! 

For various timeline reading schedules, just Google whichever you are interested.  Know that for a 90 day schedule, you will need to be able to set aside at least an hour each day for your reading.  Less time for a six month or year schedule.  Be very honest with how much time you will give to this so you do not get defeated and quit.  Even if you fall behind, keep going because the important thing is your efforts and time with God in His Word!

Need Help With any/all of this? I'm always available: cagib1@charter.net

 

Challenges....

This week I have planned to post each day the 5 Challenges that will begin the week of January 7th, but before doing so want to say:

As we all lift up those families directly and indirectly impacted by the tragedies on Friday, December 14th, and we all take stock of our own actions, families, purpose, and directions; please embrace each other in love and kindness.  Please turn to God and ask for His direction and guidance for those grieving and for those lost.  In our daily lives, we can acknowledge those doing good to encourage them to continue; we can lift up those in need to encourage them to continue; we can live the Word to encourage our spirit to continue; and we can smile at one another to brighten each other's existence.  If God be for us no one can be against us, but we cannot be for God if we continue to usher him away!

A quick note about the Challenges themselves:  These and any other Challenges on this site are for goal setting, habit changing/forming, focus, accountability, time frame.....they are NOT to overwhelm or burden, so do not plan any Challenge(s) with this mindset.  Rather than setting your goals on the mountain summit, set it for the base camp right in front of you and then just keep on climbing until you reach the summit.  If we take on more than we can realistically do, we set ourselves up for defeat.  Also know that neither this site, nor any fitness/nutrition/weight loss Challenge or content on this site has anything to do with how someone should look.....my focus is and will continue to be on helping people be healthy and able to do their daily activities for a long time to come!  Disease and strife do not have to be a part of your story and/or a continuing part of your story, so make the necessary changes in your habits to write better chapters!!!!

 

Friday, December 14, 2012

Perspectives on Balance

Reposts of Perspectives on Balance:

Balance
"Balance doesn't mean that things stop moving....it simply means that you are more able to deal with the fluctuations as they come up." ~Kathryn Budig

If we reach a balance in our lives, a true balance, enjoy it but also be prepared to make necessary adjustments as life is ever moving and so too does your focus need to be as well. Balance isn't something you figure out once and bam you are set. Balance is something that is fleeting if you do not work at it to keep it in check. All of the constant obstacles in life assure us that balance is fragile and something to strive for and maintain and honor once we reach it. Don't get discouraged if everything is hard. Use it rather as an opportunity to step back and get perspective on what is making it hard. Once you are able to grasp perspective on your existence and obstacles is when you can truly apply your hard earned and fought for life lessons to achieve your balance.

"Whatever we focus on we become--We also become whatever we practice. We need to focus on balance whenever something comes along to tilt us off balance, we need to be grateful, because it allows the opportunity to practice our focus. When you're in the middle, you don't go to either extreme. You allow both sides to exist." ~Lakota

"We must live as we think, otherwise we shall end up by thinking as we have lived." ~Paul Bourget

Don't Give Up!!!
If you have a bad day or bad week or bad experience doesn't mean it's okay to give up on your fitness goals and aspiration of good health! We all have bad days, etc. Nothing is perfect or ever going to be, but keep on moving forward with each new day, each new opportunity, each new experience! One day might be seemingly perfect....kids well behaved and doing everything you ever desired them to do, house is in place, to-do list is getting checked off, workout done, work done, etc., then the next day all hell breaks lose...kids have forgotten everything you ever taught them, the house looks like an F5 hit it, you feel like a failure with anything and everything you attempt to do, nutrition goes out the window, etc. Don't despair and don't give up.....Just as quickly as it all goes to hell, it can turn around and go right and awesome again. It's all about finding some peace and solace in each and every moment (even the bad ones) and ebbing and flowing right along with the rockiness that is all of our lives.
Overwhelmed?
If you are breathing and responsible for anything other than showering, sleeping, and eating, you get overwhelmed. Life is complicated and the more obstacles you have the more obstacles you encounter...can be a vicious cycle for sure. Finding balance is key, but as I have said numerous times balance is fleeting and like happiness something you constantly have to appreciate while you have it and strive for when you don't. 

Like superpowers, being overwhelmed should be used for good and not bad. Don't let your anxiety and stress cause you to forfeit your goals by giving up on them. Just because things seem impossible doesn't mean they are .... just means it's time to sit down and examine what is or isn't working and regroup. My personal experience is that if I am overwhelmed, anxious, and feeling like I should just surrender it's likely because I have let my boundaries be violated either by me or others in my life. The best thing at that point is for me to sit quietly by myself and honestly assess what my situation is and how to go about fixing it (not quitting it). There are good reasons to jump ship on something, but make sure you are doing them for the right reasons and not because you are stressed and it's just easier to bail than reflect and move forward. Two excellent books that have helped me tremendously are "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend & "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie

"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee." ~Marian Wright Edelman

"The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it." ~John Ruskin
To Do's, Have To's & The Remainder
How is your "BALANCE Sheet" going this year? Are there more to do's than done's? How are you juggling all that you are responsible for? Trust me when I say I know that there are more days than not that you just want to throw your hands up and go 'whatever'....but life moves on and so too do you.

When I was a gradeschool child I remember my grandmother telling me that if you wipe down the tub after every bath you don't end up having to clean it as often. At the time I wondered why she was telling me this other than she was wanting me to wipe the tub down after every bath, and as I stood there contemplating using a dirty wash cloth to wipe down the tub (yes, even at an early age hygine & proper cleaning practices really mattered) she demonstrated how the task should work. Another tidbit was from a great aunt who would finatically clean her house before she would leave it to go anywhere, even if it was just up the street for a visit with a neighbor for a few minutes, because she was taught growing up that you never want to leave your house how you wouldn't want a stranger to find it because you never know what your future holds. It is words of wisdom like this that have stuck with me over the years. In part because they were stand out moments in my childhood either because of the circumstance in which they were delivered or because they seemed so odd they left an impression for me to ponder over the years. But if you really think about these two examples in particular and apply them not only to your life (home, work) but the way you view your fitness and nutrition routines, it really helps to put it all in perspective and balance.

Said very simply: Don't get overwhelmed with the big picture of everything you are trying to accomplish....rather, break it down, make a plan, and consistently tackle your plan. By doing what you can do moment by moment, day by day, amazingly it all gets done without any one thing undoing you. Sure, you still have "those days" but overall, so much easier than having overwhelming task after overwhelming task on your plate (as it were) that you have to try and tackle as a whole. Can be so defeating for sure! What doesn't work is putting it off until the list, stack, task is so large there isn't even an obvious starting place. This seriously applies to everything, fitness/health/nutrition included!

Need more perspective and reflection?  Be sure to visit all the links to such posts and pins at Inspiration & Encouragement

Thursday, December 13, 2012

INFO About This Site....

If you are new to this site, a few things to know are listed below.  If you have been around awhile, but not really navigated or know about some of the changes I am making to the site, below might answer some questions (...and Thanks for being a part of VeryEffectiveFitness.com!!!).

First, WELCOME!!!  Always feel free to either post a comment or send me an e-mail at cagib1@charter.net.

Second, if you are conveniently reading this site from your smart phone, know that it is best for searching the tabs if you read it in the "web version" mode .... which you can select towards the bottom of the page.

And now for all the rest ;-)

3) If you want to stay up-to-date on daily postings, go ahead and sign up for free e-mail blasts:

Follow by Email




4) Whether via e-mail or site visit, I have begun in the last few weeks keeping special info to know at the top of the HOME page so it will always be on top of any current POST....Just know that when you receive an e-mail and/or visit the site, there will be new tidbits and info just below that "Good To Know" post.

5) All tidbit, info, inspirational, challenge posts are cataloged under the pertinent sections of each tab (or page), so whether you have read every post or not....If you are needing some help on an area or just need some inspiration, be sure to visit whichever topic and click on all the relevant post links.

6) Be on the lookout for additional site updates in the upcoming weeks as well as five 12 week Challenges to be posted next week and starting the first week of January.  I will be making some pricing changes as well as service offerings very soon, so keep an eye out.

7) I continue to offer a free monthly workout at TLC every third Saturday of the month at 8 am.  Info and workout for that month will always be posted on the Free Monthly Workouts page. 

Finally, Smile!  Today is a great day because you are in the world!!!!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Free Streaming Yoga Videos

There are some really AWESOME and totally free streaming Yoga classes online at yogajournal.com/video/ Check 'em out and find one or more you love ;-)  Namaste

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Desk Job Fix

Do you sit at a desk for 6-8 + hours a day?  If yes, then here is a challenge for you to keep you moving.....

Whether it is a desk job that have your hip flexors contracted for long periods of time or some other sitting situation, get up and move for 60 seconds every 30 minutes throughout your otherwise stationary day!  That's right, every 30 minutes you need to move for just 60 seconds to add to your NEAT and make all the difference in your aches, pains, and stress factors.  (Are You Neat?)

Say you can't get up and move around every 30 minutes?  You can lift your legs up and down slowly for 60 seconds every 30 minutes; or twist your torso left to right; or march your feet all while still sitting at your desk......moving doesn't mean you have to get up and leave your station (although some of that would be most beneficial to those tight hip flexors).....

Friday, December 7, 2012

Clean It Up x 5

Top Five Areas to be Clean:

1) Relationships
2) Self (body & mind)
4) Food
3) Home
4) Work

What does it mean to be "clean" in these top five areas?  Well simply put, don't do anything in any of these areas that you do not intend.  Intention is first and foremost, especially with your word.  Do not react!  Think first, breathe first, then with intention and honesty to both yourself, your word, and the other party respond (or in some cases, don't respond).  How does "intention" apply to food?  By planning and being purposeful and cognizant about what you are putting into your body you are applying the principle of intention.  Consistency would have to be a close second to intention in that you won't get any one thing perfect any or all of the time, but trying to make the next best decision/act each moment that is presented to you, will get you as close as humanly possible to balance and dare I say (softly) perfection.  There are others, but if you are practicing and applying the first two principles in living a clean and purposeful life the others will naturally and effortlessly fall into place and balance!

I read the below post on Facebook the other night and while it is one of many versions of this old e-mail pass around, has typos, is poorly written, look past all of that to the true meaning behind what is written.  I dare say this can be applied to any and all of our relationships including the one with ourselves and our Creator. 


MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS...

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat...

down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.



 

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Take A Stand

from December 2012 Women's Health

"When it comes to burning calories, standing delivers.  A University of Missouri study found that staying on your feet blasts up to 60 calories per hour more than sitting.  And research indicates that standing may help our bodies burn fat more efficiently.  A 130 pound woman can torch up to 570 extra calories when she stands for eight hours.  It's hard to rise to the occasion for that long, so try to get on your feet whenever you can--at lunch, meetings, while checking voice mail--to help reach your weight-loss goal and ward off sitting-related ailments."

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Running Shoe Lacing Techniques

Interesting tidbit from katierunsthis.com


Running Shoe Lacing Techniques

When most runners purchase their running shoes from a specialty running store (You are not still shopping at those big box sporting goods stores, are you?) they are already cross-laced and ready to go. Or are they? Did you know there are different ways that you can lace your shoes to make them more comfortable or to help customize your shoes for your feet? Here are some of the more common shoe lacing patterns that help combat some common shoe issues. I tried to find the brightest shoe laces on the brightest pair of shoes I own so that you could see easier.
First, let’s cover the LOOP LACING LOCK. This technique can be used in a number of different lacing patterns to insure a tight and snug fit anywhere along the eye row of your shoe, depending on where your laces seem to be slipping.
In this example, I have put the loop lacing lock at the top of the shoe. The shoe was cross-laced as usual to the top of the shoe. To accomplish the loop lacing lock, put each lace end back into the same hole it just exited, leaving a small loop on each side.

Then thread each loose end through the loop on the opposite side of the shoe.

Pull tight to make loops smaller. Then tie shoe as usual.

PROBLEM: High Instep
Near the toe of the shoe, start lacing with the cross-lacing technique. Once you get to the middle of the shoe, thread the laces up the sides of the eye row, leaving room. Continue cross-lacing at the top of the shoe and tie at the top as usual. This will give your foot room in the midfoot area and help keep the shoe from feeling to tight across the arch of the foot.

PROBLEM: Wide Forefoot
From the bottom of the eye row, lace up the sides of the shoe. Once you get to the middle of the shoe (midfoot), start the cross-lacing technique and continue on to the top of the shoe. Tie shoe at the top, as usual. This will give your foot plenty of room to spread or allow your toes to splay while running.

PROBLEM: Narrow Foot
To help a shoe fit more snugly on a narrow foot, you might want to try adding a loop lacing lock in the middle of the eye row. To accomplish this, cross-lace the shoe as normal up to the midfoot, add a loop lacing lock, and then continue cross-lacing the shoe to the top. Tie the shoe at the top, as usual. Doing this will double the amount of laces across your midfoot, ensuring a snug fit.



PROBLEM: Heel Slipping
There are two good ways of keeping a shoe from slipping on the heel. The first way is to put a loop lacing lock at the top of the shoe (shown in the beginning of the post) and tie shoe as usual. Another way is to use a modified loop lacing lock, called a “runner’s tie.” To accomplish the runner’s tie, cross-lace the shoe until the second to last top hole and then lace up each side of the eye row. Take each loose lace end and thread it back under the side lace of the opposite side. Tie the shoe at the top, as usual.

PROBLEM: Shoe Feels Too Tight
To give your shoe an overall roomier feel, try the parallel lacing technique. To start, lace the first tow eyelets near the toe of the shoe. On one side, pull the lace up through the first eyelet and then straight across the shoe and into the eyelet directly across from it. On the other side, skip the first eyelet and pull the lace up through the second eyelet and then lace it into the eyelet straight across from it. Repeat this skipping an eyelet and lacing across pattern until the shoe is laced to the top. This lacing technique is a little tricky, so here is a link to a video that might help.

PROBLEM: Black Toenails
To accomplish this threading technique, start by threading one end of the shoe lace through the eyelet at the top of the shoe on the opposite side of your big toe. Leave enough lace length to tie the shoe. Lace the rest of the shoe lace through the eyelet closest to your big toe, creating a diagonal lace down the length of the shoe. Lace this long length of shoe lace straight across toward the outside of the shoe and then diagonally up toward the inside of the shoe. Repeat this lacing pattern until the shoe is laced to the top. Tie the shoe, as usual. Lacing the shoe this way allows the material above your big toe to be pulled up and off of the nail when the outside lace is tugged and tied tightly.

These are just a few alternative lacing techniques that may help solve some common runner’s shoe fit issues. I hope this has been helpful for you!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

December Trinity Workout = YOGA

We are going to the mat to get our Yoga on this month at Trinity, so join me Saturday, December 15th at 8 am (info at Free Monthly Workouts).  Whether you have never done Yoga before or you have a regular practice, everyone will get what they need!  Bring your mats, water, and good energy and we will vinyasa out the stress and tightness!  (Oh & bring your blocks and straps if you have 'em and need 'em ;-) )

December & January DISCOUNTS

Just in time for the Holidays and New Year......
for ANY Workout Package you Purchase in December or January, you will receive 15% OFF the price of that Package....
Check out all Packages:  Training Prices


New Burpee Challenge

So with Holiday schedules in full force and time being short, you might be skimping on your workouts.....Never fear there is always a way to get you moving ;-) 

A full on Burpee (thruster with push up) is the equivalent of about one calorie.  That being the case you could perform 50 to 100 Burpees throughout your day and get 50 to 100 calories depleted from your caloric intake....Or, you could workout smarter and on days you just can't get your workout in do one to two Burpee Tabata Circuits and torch your fat burning into a whole other gear, boost your metabolism well after your workout is over and go on about your day.  One Tabata Circuit is 4 minutes in duration consisting of 8 rounds of 20 seconds of work (in this case Burpees) and 10 seconds of rest. 

I challenge you this week to do at least one of these Burpee Tabata Circuits (whether in addition to or in place of a workout) and experience the fat burn!

Monday, December 3, 2012

Brotherly Love Equally

Romans 12:9-12 Let love be without dissimulation.  Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.  Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.  Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer.

This Christmas, make it about intention and not reaction; make it about balance between doing and receiving; make it about Christ and not the world.  May all good you do be abundantly blessed!