The following is something that was posted by me on my Very Effective Living Blog: http://veryeffectiveliving.blogspot.com/ It is also very applicable to examining your motivations to why you are getting fit and healthy.....Doing everything for the "right" reasons is very important for your mental well being as well as being successful in your endeavors. Getting fit/healthy to try to gain love and acceptance would be a very misplaced reason for doing it. Get Fit/Healthy for you ... It's not about being a size or shape....It truly is about being the best you possible for the right reasons!
Why Do You Do That Thing You Do?
So what's your motivation? Examining why you are doing something is a clear indication of whether it is a good idea or not....if it will work out or not. If your motivation is to gain approval, acceptance, or to "look good" in the eyes of another, then skip it cause while you might get a pat on the head or a nod, it's all as superficial and short lived as were your motivation for the action in the first place. If your motivation is because it is expected or the "right thing to do", look into the whys of this because the answer might be a resounding scream of "no way". Why something is "expected" is a necessary answer to obtain on the front end....Is it expected because it is legitimate responsibility of yours, or is it expected because you have always overfunctioned in said relationship or job that, well, it has become what you'll do just because no one else wants to and you always do/will. If your motivation is to manipulate, cajole, guilt, or maneuver another, then seriously stop what you're doing and see how this is not functional behavior.
Good and clear motivations for actions are that of legitimate responsibility, healthy selfless care, growth, pure love, charity, and investment. Know that going into good and clear motivations means that you are not expecting anything in return, including acknowledgement of your actions. Not expecting anything in return does not mean that if there is an if/then agreement for the action in play that you shouldn't expect your end of the deal. For example if you are looking at your motivation for performing in a job then you should get paid. The difference here is that if you over perform in the job, going beyond your tasked duties or expected performance, as an investment for "possible" future advancement then fine....BUT, if you are over performing expecting everyone to see what a wonderful creature you are or because you feel this will make you more accepted or because you get stuck doing it at the manipulation of coworkers, then stop and examine the functionality of you and your situation. Acting in dysfunctional ways leads to resentment, anger, hostility, displeasure, feelings of low self worth, broken trusts, and loss.
Good and clear motivations for actions are that of legitimate responsibility, healthy selfless care, growth, pure love, charity, and investment. Know that going into good and clear motivations means that you are not expecting anything in return, including acknowledgement of your actions. Not expecting anything in return does not mean that if there is an if/then agreement for the action in play that you shouldn't expect your end of the deal. For example if you are looking at your motivation for performing in a job then you should get paid. The difference here is that if you over perform in the job, going beyond your tasked duties or expected performance, as an investment for "possible" future advancement then fine....BUT, if you are over performing expecting everyone to see what a wonderful creature you are or because you feel this will make you more accepted or because you get stuck doing it at the manipulation of coworkers, then stop and examine the functionality of you and your situation. Acting in dysfunctional ways leads to resentment, anger, hostility, displeasure, feelings of low self worth, broken trusts, and loss.
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